traveling south to see my 87 year old dad at the park where he has been living in his inoperable vehicle with his dog for some time. earlier last week i received a call from concerned police hoping to find him “help” because he is “not your typical homeless person.” (NO PERSON is “typical” or outside worthiness of compassion.) his vehicle tags are expired by years, the car is beyond repair and with the debris he has gathered on top of his car, it is at risk of being impounded.
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i’ve had no way to contact him for years.
i have no way to reach him except to show up.
what i have to give is my love and my presence.
my presence and my love, even beside his own body still may not reach him.
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i’ve been moving at the speed of gentle readiness – honoring the tenderness of the journey i’m on as well as my own body and wholeness.
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been feeling soft, tender, powerful and quiet
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since i rose yesterday morning knowing it was time for me to make my way to him, each movement has been a prayer.
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i bought myself flowers to accompany my travels as a reminder of the beauty and impermanence of life.
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i’ve been taking my time to travel slowly, allowing my natural inner sense of timing and rhythm and the pace of the earth to ready me as i honor attuned pauses along the road.
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showing up.
unhurried.
surrounded in beauty.
at the pace of listening.
i trust that the great mystery that holds me, holds him as well.
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i lean into grandmother ocean as i gather magic and prayer while holding space for my own life and boundaries.
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i pray attuned connection with the tides of life
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i pray love with the steadiness of mountain
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i pray levity, joy and play
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i pray embodied skill in action
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i pray engagement with practice
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i pray my footsteps walk the path that honors the flow of life and all her creations
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i pray remembrance to dance with curiosity and wonder
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i pray engagement, healing, clear sight and release.
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i am well ♥️ AND this is a reminder to be kind to each other and continually offer each other grace. you never know what invisible histories and struggles live beneath folks skin.
if you are one who offers prayer/hope/magic/movement/reverence to some form of great mystery, my father’s name is Tom. include him in your heart please.
update:
i spent several days down south with my 85 year old dad who is currently unhoused and living in a park in LA (very sweet generative trip and soo good to reconnect with him and see where i can offer support but also, hello trauma and grief.) he has matured into a very soft, kind elder. people never cease to give me hope for humanity. it is with deep love and great heartbreak for me to be with him in his current living conditions. my siblings and i are working together to see what we can do to help. the situation is complicated and nuanced.
i came back to SLO right in time to intercept a young person in my son’s beloved community actively attempting to end their life. we were able to intervene & held them in round-the-clock suicide watch/trauma support & safety planning in my home for the past 3 days. (also generative and positive. also hello trauma, love and grief.)
on an unrelated/related note my son brought an orphaned baby opossum home last night just as his friend was stabilized and leaving with a saftey & care plan. i got to care for this little critter before bringing him to the wildlife care center in morro bay today. (please note i grew up doing this and was raised inside a pet store + had a wildlife omnivore care formula already on hand. if you find a wild animal in need of care and your local wildlife care center is not open, please just provide water if you don’t know what you are doing. it is very easy to do unintended harm to a baby wild animal.)
i am so greatful that i have the knowledge, resources and skills to meet all of these moments.
at the same time my gratitude and joy is heavy. my body is full of presence, steadiness AND grief.
i laid down some prayers at the begining of this week:
– attuned connection with the tides of life
– love with the steadiness of mountain
– levity, joy and play
– embodied skill in action
– engagement with practice
– my footsteps walk the path that honors the flow of life and all her creations
– remembrance to dance with curiosity and wonder
– engagement, healing, clear sight and release
i went to the ocean to lean into all that life is asking of me alongside a commitment to keeping space for my own life, well-being and boundaries.
support:
in honor of that, i stretch into a willingness to receive. it is righteous for me to hold my community. it is righteous for me to be held in community. healing and health happens in the collective.
we need each other to thrive.
ps.
– the photo is of my dad and his adorable dog at the park where he is currently unhoused. i stayed with him in my little micro-camper and met him with a little table, feast and lots of love. i have not been able to contact him for three years so the reunion required a bit of sacred fire and beauty.
– the video is of “pipsqueak” the orphaned opposum who is now being cared for by wildlife professionals who will release him when he is old enough to be on his own
