waves of grief, joy, sadness, solidity, gratitude, despair, celebration…

i traveled solo to moonstone beach to give myself space to fully feel the pain of separation and say goodbye to my friend matthew. as i lit a candle and burned some sage, the winds picked up and a gentle rain began to fall. i sang my mantra to matthew, to the wind, to this magical beach where over the years together he and my son built hundreds of driftwood forts, created spontaneous bonfire gatherings, challenged the surf and snorkeled the little river seeking aquatic treasures. as the elements began to exert their force, i crouched low and protectively cupped both hands around that small flame. i sang as my own tears mingled with the salty sand and the rain above; i gave all of my attention to keeping matthew’s candle lit…